Come As You Are

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By Dr. Amanda Nicholson @theamandanicholson

“Come as you are” has always been one of the lines from Church that has always made me roll my eyes. Mainly because no one actually means “come as you are.” I mean if I showed up at Church on a Sunday in a mini skirt and crop top, it would be a topic of discussion for years to come! I’m also the Pastor’s daughter, so could you imagine the after-church tea that would be sipped?!?! When you come to church, you are expected to come in your Sunday best. If you have ever had the privilege of attending a traditional Black Church of any denomination you know exactly what I mean. Everyone is dressed to impress in their hats and suits. Someone’s Sunday Best is usually their top tier clothing, if they aren’t going to slay anywhere else during the week, they are going to shut it down at Church on Sunday. What if I told you though that this false sense of coming as you are to church doesn’t just start with what we wear?

Growing up I was lucky enough to be in educational environments where I was surrounded and taught by people who look like me. Black History was not just confined to February. I learned about the Blue Vein Society and the Brown Paper Bag test before middle school. When learning about the Blue Vein Society I remember flipping over my arm in class and seeing my own blue veins were very visible, I had never really paid them any attention before then. As I’ve gotten older and grown as a scholar, I realized that there are people in my life now who wouldn’t have been seen as good enough to even worship God with me at some point in time. 

When we talk about the Blue Vein Society and even the Brown Paper Bag test they are usually only talked about in reference to being admitted into clubs, theaters, or bars. There were also similar test to keep darker skinned Black folk from attending church. If someone was a shade darker than the brown used to paint the church door or their hair didn’t pass through the comb hanging over the door they were not allowed to worship God in that particular sanctuary. Can you imagine not being the right skin tone to worship in God’s house? 

There is a verse in the Bible that says man looks at the outside but God sees us for who we are in our hearts. Which is why people are always spouting that come as you are line. The reality is that Black folks, especially those with darker skin tones and kinkier hair, have never been able to just “come as they are” anywhere, much less to the Church house. Many of the lessons that Black Americans have learned about how to move through society were learned at Church. These lessons included teachings on how to dress, how to behave, and how to take care of yourself that so you would possibly gain some respect from white society. These churches that were basically social clubs for lighter skin and mixed Black folk at that time, were privileged enough to have the resources and skin color to allow them to do that with ease, while their dark-skinned counter parts had to do extra to be seen as worthy of respect. 

  Come as you are is a loaded statement for Black folks. What is really desired here: to come as I am or who they want me to be? 

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Dr. Amanda

Nicholson

is your not so conventional Southern Belle who likes her Sweet Tea with a side of conversation about intimacy building and women’s sexual identity development. Amanda is an International speaker, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, and Sexologist.

www.theprudesguide.com
IG - @theamandanicholson
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