Surround Yourself With Good Soil

Written By: Chisha Lee

I remember hearing this while listening to a podcast called, “The Secret Lives of Black Women” and they interviewed a high-spirited, fun-loving, eclectic, and passionate singer by the name of Tarriana “Tank” Ball. She discussed how surrounding herself with people who spoke life into her craft, believed in her, and supported her was fundamental in life and her career as an artist.

I remember her advice of “surround yourself with good soil”. She used the term soil as a way to indicate the nutritional value of having good people in your corner. This spoke volumes to me and hit in the most profound way. When I look back on the areas of my life where I have succeeded the most, it was when I had people around me to guide me, support me, and believe in my visions (or the times they saw a vision for me that I didn’t see for myself). The people you allow in your life should always have your best interest at heart. Even during the times when they may be [constructively] criticizing you, it should feel like it is coming from a place of love. When it comes to the most influential people in my life, I place them in three different categories: role models, gentle lovers, and visionaries.

Role models

These are the people in my life who served as examples of what I aspire to be. I’ve witnessed people in my inner circle with such unwavering confidence, intellect, talent, and a great passion for life. I loved watching these friends live their lives in such an unapologetic way. The best part was seeing how they gave back to others, took people under their wing, and mentored like-minded individuals. It’s as if they fully understood the notion that God purposely gave them their gifts in order to pass them along to others.

Gentle lovers

This is quite the opposite of someone giving you ‘tough love”. I can only speak to my experience as a black woman (and black person in general), but the world can be very unkind to us, to say the least. The last thing I need for my life is someone to be extra hard on me in order to “prepare” me for the real world. I’m here to tell you, sis---IT DOESN’T WORK! Instead, filling someone incessantly with love is a better way to remind us that we are valued and appreciated even if society shows us the opposite. If we are filled to the rim with love, it will serve as armor to combat all the negativity that the outside world will throw at us.

Visionaries

My favorite kind of person. These are the type of friends who march to the beat of their own drum, they’re carefree, and they see life in a way that no one else does. They are TRULY unapologetic and free-spirited. What I love most about this type of friend is when they have an idea, they move forward with it as if they have discovered an invention that will save the masses. Whether other people understand or agree with their ideas, all that matters is that it makes sense to them.

All in all, it can feel extremely difficult to grow (or even function) when the people in your intimate circle are constantly criticizing you, being negative, or always finding something to complain about. It may be in your best interest to periodically re-evaluate the people you allow in your life and ask yourself, “Am I surrounded by good soil?”

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Chisha Lee is a Baltimore, MD native with a passion for health & beauty, traveling, mental wellness, and all things natural hair. Graduate of Howard University, she spends most of her time trying to save the world as an overly optimistic social worker and part-time mental health therapist, planning her next life adventure and empowering women of color to unapologeticallly love who they are. Her personal interests include dancing bachata, writing, and perfecting a bomb twist out.