As a Black woman, slicked down edges make me feel powerful! I’m absolutely, unapologetically, proud of that fact! Now, I am a true black hair enthusiast! I enjoy black women enjoying their black hair in ANY way they see fit. Even if that means loving your hair in a manipulated state. Be it afros, coils, bundles, braids, or my favorite: a nice, powerful, slicked-up ponytail. You know the kind that's raised up high to the sky and sassy as hell! It’s mind-boggling to me that in this era of embracing our hair textures and differences that there are women still shaming others about how they enjoy their hair. You can be a beautiful black queen who embraces her hair and decide to wear it in manipulated states. In our new world full of "love your natural hair" somehow we got lost in the fact that you should be able to enjoy your hair in any state that you prefer. Duality, baby! The best part about my powerful pony, is my edges! Some may say "Girl, you are in your 30's! WHY are you still worried about baby hairs?!” Well, let’s just call these grown folk follicles then, OK?! My edges a.k.a. baby cares a.k.a. slides swoops are the razzle-dazzle to my look.
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I want to dare you to think not only about the Black women in need of a safe space, but the Black children exploring for one too.
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This question is on the top of Black women’s minds every time they decide to start exercising more.
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“Mommy, I want a blonde braid so I can be pretty” my daughter said. “You want a what?” I said with a slight cringe in my voice. “A braid like Elsa” she replied. This statement took me off guard and immediately led to me having a conversation with my then 5 year old.
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“Mommy, why can’t my hair be down and straight like yours?” With a sad face, those were the piercing words that one of my three-year-old twin daughters asked me, as her sister gazed at me for an honest reply.
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“So, how are you going to wear your hair to your interview?”
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Wearing “the natural” back in 2001 before it became trendy, proved to be a surprisingly emotional journey. What made it emotional? The fact that I got the most negative reactions from my own...other black women.
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“Oh my gosh, baby, I am so proud of you. This is such a beautiful house. Now all you need to do is fix your hair and lose a little bit of weight”. These were the words my mother spoke when she toured the house
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YouTube tutorials have a weird way of giving you a false sense of confidence. We ALL have a failed tutorial story.
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Picture it “Brooklyn 1991.” I was riding the B52 bus with 3 other friends on my way home from school. I was in 6th grade and girls in my school were getting their hair relaxed…except for me.
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Four years old. That’s also how old I was when I received my very first relaxer. Unbeknownst to me, it was also the beginning of my journey to loving myself.
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